on the way home from band i hit a kitty.. there was nothing i could do.. i swerved. it didn't work..

mail me
-M@

hye.. wassups!!! i fixed it .. aint that exciting.. ?
no.. well.. i thought that it was...

well since this thingy broke.. lots of stuff has been happening..

namely .. well.. damn.. lots..

firstly i'd like to adress homecoming last night..

it was fun.. i danced with everone.. (one of the advantages of not having a date). saw gosley there.. she didn't look like she was having a tremendous amount of fun.. this poses the question..

which is worse..

to dance .. and be horriblely bad at it..

or to never dance.. and never know how bad you were..

well i chose option number one.. and still had a blast..

i slow danced almost every one of the dances.. here's the run down of the action for the night.. for everyone who wishes to still think of me as monk like.. (the ultimate in chasity) should discontinue reading untill you feel it appropriate (like you put the hand over little kids eyes in the "bad " parts of the movies... )

slow dances.. :

1. jessica
2. kelsey
3. gabby
4. catlyn
5. krippa

6. i asked anne.. (the german chick) but her reply was "i don't really like this song.. " obvoiusly a polite no.. so i took the hint..

(yes gosley .. . the german chick.. i think you'll be thrilled to know that i got burned by the non hamburgerer) :)

fast danced
(i think that i got the hang of it as the night progressed.. but i can't ever really judge how retarded i look )

1. brittany
2. carrie.
3. kelsey

during the course of the night i got to do the mad rave stuff .. and had some funny quips exchanged with anne.. although i am dissappointed that lindsey didn't come.. she's good and cynical like i can do.. so we get along well..

didn't see kismet.. or johnny for that matter.. wonder what's up with them...

saw jake.. he didn't dance the whole night... poor guy

yea.. also..
i kinda kissed candice ona whim.. nothing personal or great.. just out of the thrill of doing it..

it had been so long since i'd kissed someone that it was kinda wierd..

i don't know why i'm writing this .. but i just needed to say something about it..

yea.. now that the wierd stuff is over.. i gotta get calc done.. and amanda is IM ing me.. so bye

all right.. it seems that i have fixed the computer.. seeing as how i am currently typing on it.. so expect an entry tommmorrow morning after the homecoming dance.. right now i gotta get ready.. chao..

-M@

geez.. today was really comfusing..

just got off the phone with grace about 5 minutes ago..

i don't know how i feel about her..

i want to help her.. that's for sure.. because everyone needs somebody when they're hurting..

i don't know wether i like her or not.. i mean.. my record with homeschoolers and wierd people is not exactly pleasing.. and plus.. what if we did start something up .. i mean.. she then couldn't tell me all the problems she might have then.. especially if they were about me.. and i'm going off to college soon.. and definately don't want to mess her up .. hurting her if i moved and all..

.. but she makes me feel different . .
different from the way carrie made me feel.. like i was fitting in and all..

grace makes me feel important.. and i don't know wether that's good or not.. so .. expect more of this contemplation in latter journals..

bed is callin..

-M@

..
last night.. hmm..

the game was okay i guess.. we didn't stumble or fall.. but the team got whooped.. 24 to - that hurts

i 'm not myself today for a number of reasons..

1. tired.. seriously.. this week has been pure and unrequited heck.

2. sad.. and possibly a little depressed..
coming home last night i was thinking about how the games in charleston went.. and how i would hang out with lisey and beck and will in the stands... i really miss it there.. and i still can't get over it.. sometimes i wish someone would boot me in the end and say " OY! YOU! GET OVER IT ALREADY!" or something like that. i was listening to the radio as i turned in to the subdivision.. and started tearing up .. .. .. .. .. later i got home and went to bed..

3. uncertain..
i hate it when i don't know some things.. like what i'm gonna do today.. wether or not ann is gonna call to see the play i had in mind,... and stuff like that.. mom and dad still can't decide what they want to do today.. i just wanna be vegitable

well.. yea.. that's how the day yesterday went.. along with me telling off candice.. that was great!

.. and i think i wanna work on the play.. and clean up the mess in my car.. and talk to grace.. i don't know what to think about her..

mom just bellowed about how my room should be cleaner than it is.. better get off to work..

::sigh::

- M@

.. today was slow again.. i need to study calc.. just writing to give an update..

someone vandilized the school again..

-M@

he he ..
found this on heather's diary.. so .. here goes.


last cigarette: .. never have smoked.. never will.. 2 of my family have died from lung cancer
last kiss: on the lips? well.. it was back in march when me and carrie were going out.. wow.. 6 months.. i think i might be getting gay.
last good cry: honestly.. about 2 weeks ago.. i really had a bad bout of missing charleston.. and i found out about half of my friends there dropping out of IB and not telling me.
last library book checked out: hmm.. i think that was .. um.. some john irving book.. i can't remember..
last movie seen: yesterday, i saw the italian job for the upteenth time.. (i love that movie)
last book read: .. this is embarrasing.. well. i keep harry potter 4 in the bathroom at all times.. so.. you get the picture
last cuss word uttered: .. yesterday.. i think it was because i had tripped
last beverage drank: lol.. i'm drinking green cool aid as we speak.
last food consumed:pepper chicken.. it was dinner
last crush: they make em' better in germany.. dang it!
last phone call: grace last night.. i'm worried for her.. .. grace.. if you're reading this.. snap out of the funk girl.. you're too good to get stuck.
last tv show watched: lol.. everwood.. how girly!!!
last time showered: this morning.. (i will shortly after this)
last shoes worn: marching shoes.. gross
last cd played: ... styx.. last night.. i listened to mr. roboto
Last item bought: well.. umm.. i can't remember.. mark got a new n64 game today.. does that count?
last downloaded: ha! a tron 2.0 wallpaper
last annoyance: .. well.. there's this one girl in band that's really hippocritical and likes to give speeches and mess with her claranets.. you get the picture
last thing written: in paper? well.. it was my calc homework this evening
last key used: my house key... it was to get inside!
last word spoken:just before i got on my mom and i were blathering about the senior project.. do i need to do one gos?
last sleep: too long ago.
last chatted with: jake
last sexual fantasy: .. whoa! like enacted.. or .. um.. fantasized.. well the last one enacted was making out with carrie on the roof.. (.. ooops .. sholdn't have said that one), and the last one today was .. um.. i don't think i thought of one today.. but there is the long standing "i wish i was in the rain right now" fantasy.. whoa.. TMI egh?
last weird encounter: .. band... nuf said
last ice cream eaten: cookies and cream.. 3:00pm.
last time amused: hm... maybe the conversations me and shawn have??
last time wanting to die: ... i dunno.. the last time i was depressed was my last cry.. see # 3
last time in love: .. march.. .. i don't get lots of love being goofy.. it's just not my piece of cake at school.. now you see me after school and we'll talk.. but that's the only time i'm halfway romantic.. if you could say that about me...
last time hugged: the afternoon.. seeing mom get home
last time scolded: .. ahem.. LINE.. 10 PUSHUPS FOR TALKING.. .. I'M A LINE.. and the ever infamous.. WERE THE MOUNT DORA MARCHING CANES... WE LOVE TO STAND AT ATTENTION
last chair sat in: My poor excuse for a wicker computer chair.. (the back on it hurts a lot)
last lipstick used: about 1 and a half ;years ago i cross dressed on a dare.. you draw your own conclusions
last bra worn: see above
Last shirt worn: sunday.. with a tie.. i might add
last time dancing: two saturdays ago i ATTEMPTED to dance at the leesburg homecoming
last poster looked at: audio adrenaline.. (it's in my room)
last show attended: the swift concert
last webpage visited: www.hpana.com

one more.

A - Age - 17
B - Boyfriend - richard.. (j/k)
C - Chore you hate - lawn mowing
D - Dad's name - john
E - Essential make up item - i don't
F - Favourite actress - well.. it's halle berry.. because she did a good job on the bond movie
G - Gold or silver - d. all of the above
H - Hometown - charleston, south carolina.
I - Instruments you play - recorder, guitar, trombone, mellophone...
J - Job title - factotum
K - Kids - .. not yet..
L - Living arrangements - van down by the river.. (SNL.. CHRIS FARLEY)
M - Mom's name - lisa
N - Number of people you've slept with - well.. i havn't yet.. and won't tell i marry..
O - Overnight hospital stays - never
P - Phobia - heights.. embarresment
Q- Quote[s] you like - "time flies like an arrow, but fruit flies like a bannana" "the telegraph is a kind of very long cat. you pull his tail in new york and he is mewing in los angeles. radio operates in exactly the same way, except there is no cat" - albert einstein
T - Time you wake up? - 6am. everyday
U - Unique habit - talking to myself in the bathroom..
V - Vegetable you refuse to eat - ugh.. brussel sprouts..
W - Worst habit - eating sweets
X - X-rays you've had - none
Y - Yummy food you make - yumm.. jumbalaya... shrimp and grits.. steak on the grill.. chicken alfredo.. dude.. ! i'm emril!
Z - Zodiac Sign - pices


yea.. well.. g'night

.. i'd like a nap right about now..

well. lets see. .

calc today!
ugh! boring...

next subject

t'v. production..

woot!
german chicks!.. they went to sea world over the weekend.. and they said they would've called to get me to come if i'd given them my #... ouch! total shutdown..

(a fatal exception has occured at IE 32434.. call tech support for that one..)

yea well..
haynie round 2...
ntmh

and then.. ah.. band

gabby and i had a bout about who's leading the low brass.. and thankfully kristen stuck up for me not one.. but 2 times!!
woot kristin.. i appreciate mucho..

and then i practiced more with gabby.. :P

.. yea.. and then kate invites her to come home with us.. so naturally i havn't gotten much done with her here..
and now she's gone.. so i got my chance

-------------------------
and that's my day..
------------------
so now i think that i might help the one and only saucy wench with her admin. essay.. or learn pickup lines in german.. !

and now for the long forgotten
WHAT HAVE WE LEARNED!!!
1. germans .. whoa!

2. gabby : kristen :: holyfield : tyson

3. candice is full of herself

4. refer to # 1

5. thanks for the email kristin.. it helped me..

6. play : excited :: band : anxious

7. all your base : to us :: feathers : birds

8. sat's whoa!

9. how do you say " that's hot " in german?

10. kiwis.. not just a fruit..

lol..
later

-M@

ugh/.... or rather.. coplete ughness...

kate ended up enviting her b/f over to the house..

and mind you.. it is impossible to study calculus with captian cornell sucking air right next to you with the movie on loud..

egh!!!!

i h8 that!!!!

yea.. welll now that that's out..

has anyone besides me heard of all your base..?

it belongs to us..

yea and fyi..

someone set us up the bomb..

look it up if you don't know what i'm jabbering about..

hey heather.. if you're reading this.. which.. you probably are...
i think i might switch over to jevon's journal site.. considering that his most recent entry is about a day old..

egh!

that's like leaving a good pizza on the counter for a whole day..
it's still good to eat.. but it might not be as fresh as you'd like it. .

yea..
i'm gonna go call gracie now...

she's been worrying me lately.. with her father's death she's gone through a lot of crap.. and i think that she needs a chance to grieve just like her family.. and not have to "pick up all the slack"

and i dunno if i like her or not.. but either way.. i feel like i need to be there for her to talk to ..

feedback anybody?

matt_moeller_steamroller@yahoo.com

yea.. and stuff..

just started blocking the first act of winners..

and boy.. this is going to be an adventure..! i can't wait for the production to actually start. .

..

that's about all i have on my mind today.. so i'll be going to call gracie now..

............ ........ .... ... .. .

but.. i dunno ...
something has been plagueing me recently

..

why am i the only person i know with some semblance of a religion?

am i the wierdo? or did i just land in a dead community..
because.. it was never like this in chuck...

.. is it the people that i associate with.. ?

no.. because i associate with all sorts of people..

ack.. more thinking is required on this.. but i got stuff to do..

so i guess i'll just have to get freudian in the next entry..

chaio..
and stuff.
yea..

visit the website..
i added pics to the band page

www.steamroller.50megs.com

-M@

hmm.. long sunday.. sat's were hard..

but not much to say

.. so.. well. now..

i'm going to work on calculus...

.. my sister is being mean to me..

because she wants to see nate desperately .. .

later

-M@

whew..
today was a killer day.. .

i had to take the sat's today.. and i dunno how i did..
i hope to have done well.. but ever since i got home and looked up ameliorate.. i havn't felt too well. .

recently i 've been thinking a lot about the play.. how to block it..

what kind of style i want it to be in ..

just stuff like that..

also..

how come no one e-mails me..

is it because it takes too much time.. or you just don;t like me

zap me one about it...

-M@

ugh!.. my arm hurts mucho..

and also ..

i need a nap..

zap me one if you want me to write something about my life later today..
otherwise i just won't bother..

matt_moeller_steamroller@yahoo.com

-M@

(snore)^2

..sigh..

i'm so tired right now..

i dunno wether i actually want to be writing this at this point in time..
because i can barely see the words that i am typing on the screen..

they keep going in and out of focus..

oh shoot..

i need some sleep

.. .but i promised to go help the neighbors move....

and i need to work on my application..

oh wait!

that's why i got on the computer..

crap

well.. just recently i was listening to a song on the radio..

"clocks" by coldplay.. i think

it was saying something like
"home, home, where i've wanted to go"

and that made me think..
that.. well... none of us are "home"

i've moved just about 10 months ago.. and it seems like forever ago..
but i'm still not "home"

i know of people who've lived in the same house for their whole lives..
and they don't feel "home" yet..

where is home?

are we all looking for some sort of home..

and if someone has found it.. would they want to come back to tell us.. ?

i sthere just a universal feeling of misplacement.. of .. jumble

.. in every languge .. and every country.. people want to be "home"

but no one can seem to find it..

unless you count that little button on your browser.

---------------------------------------------------

but.. are people really looking for something else.. because.. home dosn't mean a house or a driveway or the cleaver family.. it means something else.. something more personal thatn can be expressed int he incoherent ramblings of a 17 year old crazy guy.

am i home?

do i want all those material thingS? NO! the things mean nothing..

i miss the feeling of waking up and realizing that about 5 of your close friends are just gettnig up too.. and that they can't wait to call .. or drop by.. and just say "hi, how's it goin?" or "hey!, i'm glad to see you"

i mean.. when was the last time you woke up and said.. "i wonder how great today will be.. beacuse i certainly wasn't dissappointed with yesterday!"

when will i get the chance to have an inside joke you can hang up in my room...

like a chick-fil-a sign you and your buddies "borrowed" on a trip

or a poster of a band you and your homies moshed out to.!?!

is home in you?
do you carry it around in your wallet.. with all the pictures of stuff that was.. and all the plans you had to do more crazy things with people who were just as crazy as you...

if we were home once.. will we ever return?

this question is summed up in the example of oddysseys's voyage... when he finally returns .. his wife is old.. and his son is a man....

or do we ever really leave.. ?

questions to ponder....

-------------------

well kiddos.. i think that this is the deepest you'll ever read from me.

chaio

-M@

i just got out of the shower and realized a couple of things..

i don't have a post comments feature...

well.. to solve this .. i would have to get.. yet another journal hoster..

and well..
i dont feel like taking up anyone else's space..

so just send your comments questions.. and general rantings and ravings to my e mail addy

matt_moeller_steamroller@yahoo.com

and another thing. .
yall don't know my web page's url .. you know.. the one i was talking about in my last blog.

so it's

www.steamroller.50megs.com

yet again...

yea..
well.. i have a calc test to study for tommorow..

so use whatever you religion you practice and pray for me..

or you could chant to the math gods..

so later peeps.. i got studin and church to do..

-M@

hmm.. well .. today was a really bad.. day..

so let's get over it already.. egh?

anyways..

it has come to my attention that some people in the world believe that men should have a liscence to date..
meaning that they would have to meet certain criteria in order to be "elligible"

and in the spirit of fairness.. or just out of eagerness to point out flaws in the opposite sex..

i have compliled multiple rules for females..


1. thou shalt not hide the remote..

2. thou shalt not watch "the bachelor" instead of "monday night football" or "monster garage"

3. thou shalt not mess with the radio whilest the "hubby" ist drivingist

4. thou shalt not say " well ... the smith's (or other family) have TWO "

5. thou shalt not give any bowtie/bow/ embarrasing article of clothing to the dog to wear

6. thou shalt not ask us to talk to you while using the restroom ( WC)

7. thou shalt not comment on the state of our wardrobe.. (it was clean yesterday!)

8. thou shalt not hound the freakin! bejesus out of us

9. thou shalt not lie, nor cheat.

10. thou shalt not invite the inlaws over for a surprise dinner..


well.. more later.. if it is nesicarry..


and in other news

visit my website to see me! and well.... me!

chaio

-M@

ugh!
i just got up after a nap to find that my house had been envaded by gabby.. you try going to sleep and then waking up to her.. . .ACK ! it's almost to much to bear..

anyways.. .more griping after tonight.. chaio

-M@

well kids.. today is a bit over.. but there is still some time for me to make final versions of my resume.. and to try to finish that darn calculus homework that has been eluding me for days on end..

also.. well.. i'm kicking myself for this..

i could have taken PE online and not had to go through the incredible retardedness that the mDHS band has become..

i think i might not go to homecoming.. i mean.. i can't dance.. wether i want to admit it or not.. ..
and it's because i don't wan tto look stupid that i might not go

GRR ! dad just walked in and asked me to list all the classes i've ever taken.. like i don't have enough CRAP to do !!!!!!! ~ :(

asdl;kfjas;dlkjf akdfj;lkdf jlkdafj

yea.. well any ways.

nervious abouit the sat's this saturday.. but i kinda don't want to take them.. seeing as how i've been going non stop lately..

and in other news ..

i can't wait till this march or rather.. this december.. when we start casting for the new play i'm currently producing

.. it's really going to be exciting..

yea.. so what have we learned

1. if m@ == can dance

then

goto homecoming

else

goto bed

end else

2. German chicks,.... WHOA!

3. it's not the east or the west side.. .. it's the dark side!

4. BASE

5. fangoriously.. .

yea.. and stuff

-M@

well.. this is my new.. blog.. so i'll post some new stuff..


only later .. cuz i got stuff to do