geez, when was the last time i wrote in here?

anyways.. nothing much happenin' and by that i mean a lot.

chris came over last night to stay for a while, left this morning. geez. it's amazing how much we've grown, and it reminded me of something that i'll never be able to do... which is turn back time and fix it so that i never leave charleston.. damn florida, the whole state is shit,

3 main products of florida:
1. old people
2. cows
3. margaritas

the whole state is a waste of space.

anyways.

i'm still in a state of decision limbo over ann. so i think i'll become celibate.. i hate girls..

and while i'm in this hateful mood .. i think i'll go and write some sappy story about how life sucks, and how we should all search for meaning while wearing red hunting hats... and cursing.

(insert random hateful comment on catcher in the rye)

i'm done ..

2pie squared! in the hizzle for shizzle
-M@

.. geez.. what a day..

katie has been up and down like a roller coaster all. day. long.

i don't know about ann anymore.. she's not really seeming to be interested. maybe i should look back into the benifits of being single.

1. flirting with any girl you'd like to
2.
3.
4.
5. refer to # 1?!?!

..
geez. i'm pissed..

maybe i might write some fruity holden caufield poetry tonight.

if i'm lucky i'll forget to.

beat up some unwilling grandmas at the store this morning.. nothing like seeing the dentures fly and canes whip before rooster crows.

angst, angst, anger, anger, rinse, lather, repeat.
-M@

Geez. Am I frustrated.. I just got off of the phone with ann..

And for some reason I can’t seem to get out what I want to say to her.. I desperately want to just .. just.. cut to the chase.. to get my bearings on where we are.. but for some reason I can’t get serious on the phone with her.. maybe I could talk to her in person some time this week.. .. but for now.. I think I’m shifting this one into low gear.. to see whther she’s interested or not..

Yea.. had to get that out.. later
-M@

Hey again yall.. I tried to post last night.. but I got a 404 from the blog site.. so I’ll try again today..

Nothing much has happened lately.. except a whole heck of a lot more confusion with anne..

Other than that I’m peachy..

So I’m going to take a nap..

Later
-M@

yea.. well.. it's saturday.. and now mom want's to go to seaworld..

had fun at the movies last night... with ann.. i think she likes me.. but won't admit to it...

i'm confused.. and tired.. and were going to go ride the coolest rollercoaster ever!! i mean EVER...


wow! two heartline rolls.. one cobra roll.. one fighter roll.. and two loops..

what more could a man want?

yea.. so.. leave me a mail if you get bored..
oh.. and for heather..

i made a video of pictures of me growing up.. here's the URL

http://home.comcast.net/~matt_moeller/my_life_in_video.html

it's about 2:45 long.. so it may be a little bit of a file..

later..
-M@

hmm.. it seems like every night i wait by the phone and the computer .. waiting for ann to call..

ironic ? egh? isn't she the one who is supposed to be "waiting so painfully by the phone for the call that may never come?!?"

yea.. talk about role reversal..

anyways..

i think i need to get over it..

.. maybe i should become gay or bi.. like half of the band already is...
lol
jk

.. yea.. i don't think that that would work out well..

so ..
yea..

-M@

today i have lots to do.. but i decided that i had to write this down..

yesterday i washed my car.. it was needing a good clean shine, so i decided to give my calculus to the dog to do and go cleean up a little..

and when i come out to my van today after class.. lo and behold..

the winshield had been pooped on by apparently.. not one.. not two.. but a total of 8 birds.. all down the hood.. the winshield.. and some one the roof even..

geez.. now not only do i have to drive my sporty little MINIVAN .. it also has to be driven home with bird lunch all down the side..

needless to say i rolled up the windows..

.. that's all the irony for today..

mail me for more..

-M@

today was a slow day.. for no reason at all.. but .. cat the moment .. my siter and brother are in here looking at all my computer stuff. .. so .. i think that i'll talk like strong bad..

not much happening todya.. got some stuff. done.. still. have calc..

got to go.. bye
-M@

holy cow guys.. i'm head over heels..

just got back from dropping ann off. we went geocahcing today
if you don't know what that is.. goto www.geocaching.com
anyways.. we went to the yalaha bakery too.. where they have the best sweet rolls ever..

she's great.. but .. i constantly feel haunted by the advise of my teachers from church.. it's like having an icy hand on you wherever you go.. geez.. maybe i'm just cold..

yea.. so ..

i don't know if i can describe my feelings as "love" (??)
but they are more than just interest.. we came home after the bakery and watched "finding nemo".. she was leaning on me half of the time.. and the other half we were sitting on opposite sides of the couch.. clearly my indescicion is coming to the breaking point..

she told me how she and her friend experimented with pot once..

can i accept her as she is? (rhetorical)

.. geez. maybe i was better off alone.

confused more than yesterday..
-M@

.. geez.

my little sister is in the dining room crying.. because today is her birthday.. and she's sick with tiberculosis..

i feel sorry for her.. but at the same time i know that there are people out there who are sick on their birthdays.. and that they'll never recover.

speaking of sick..

recently i think i've been sick too.. not physically

but mentally..

i mean.. there's this chick named ann (for those of us who havn't been living here ).. and she's really nice... and cute.. and from germany.. and she has interests that are similar to mine..

however.. she has two flaws

1. she listens to reggae, i listen to rock..
.. this one is no biggie.. and i decided to mention it solely to contrast it against her true flaw..

2. she isn't christian..
.. well. this is really tricky huh?.. the bible says not to be "unevenly yoked" .. in other words.. don't marry a nonchristian.. (if you want it chapter and verse.. email me.. i'll send it to you.. matt_moeller_steamroller@yahoo.com)

on the other hand it says to talk to nonchristians.. and to be friends.. because christ wants us to love others the way he loved us..

now.. i don't know wether it's biblically "okay" to date ann.. because it dosn't say much on the subject of "dating"

(because in biblical times you courted.. you didn't do any semblance of dating.. your wife was negotiated for by the parents.. like a "highest bidder" ordeal)

.. so lets take time to state pros and cons

cons:
1. she isn't christian
2. she drinks occasionally
3. she "likes the smell of weed". although she claims to not smoke
4. she eats babies. (inside joke)

pros:
1. she likes my family
2. she's here for the same amount of time i will be. (she leaves in may for germany... i leave in may for college)
3. she likes stupid kid movies
4. she makes good jokes, (and laughs at mine)
5. cool hairdo
6. she wants to see my church, and is open to thological discussion
7. she has a different perspective
8. she likes harry potter
9. she likes the park
10. she makes fun of things

well.. it seems that the good list overtakes the bad.. although some of the list is trivial in nature.

geez.. does anyone have any good solid advice?

zap me one if you do..

and heather.. how's the hairy guy?!? (j/k)

mezmerized and perplexed in lake county..
-M@

whoa.. vet's day

yesterday night me and ann went on our date.. it was great..
saw some pg movie.. didn't matter to me or her.. we talked through the whole movie.. i think i'm falling for someone..

not much else happening today.. marching season is over.. so i have more calc time.. maybe i won't be as stressed as i have been latey..

mail me if you'd like more info in my journals..

-M@

well .. today was wasted mainly on calc.. and on shopping for my sister's birthday..

i can't wait till tommorrow night.. me and ann are supposed to be going to a movie.. isnt that exciting

my disk space is becomng smaller.. gotta go play clean up..
bye
-M@

hye.. we didnt' do too well at fba.. i'm too tired to write more..

this is becoming a bad habit.. saying i'll write later

email me with encouragement if you wish..

matt_moeller_steamroller@yahoo.com

bed calls like a nagging girlfriend
-M@

fBa is tommorrow.. pray for me if you practice any kind of religion...

more later on on saturday..

-M@

.. well.. while everyone in the whole wide world is making like !@#$ chickens in spring.. i'll be doing calc.. if anyone has anything to say to me.. email .. me ..

.. geez.. cant i catch a break..

-M@

this is a conversation i had online.. with catherine.. (kismet)

it explains what happened at elicia's party yesterday


Kismet2324: how was ur night last night? i get the feeling it wasnt good
Steamroller342: and why do you get that feeling?
Kismet2324: i think i got it from gabby's journal, maybe from urs
Steamroller342: yea.. gabby's pissed at me
Steamroller342: and i don't care
Kismet2324: didn't think u did
Kismet2324: how was the party tho?
Steamroller342: it was fine until gabby decided she wanted to go.
Kismet2324: o..
Steamroller342: it's a long story.
Steamroller342: i'll tell you monday..
Kismet2324: ok...
Steamroller342: but as for now.. i don't know her
Kismet2324: yeah, i know how that can be
Steamroller342: she's so bipolar..
Kismet2324: o yeah
Steamroller342: and i try to be nice
Steamroller342: but she keeps pushing the wrong buttons.
Steamroller342: i've taken her off of my aim list
Kismet2324: she does it well..
Kismet2324: we were at denny's with bandies after the game and she started talking about my journal..
Kismet2324: it was so embarrassing
Steamroller342: .. yea.. i bet
Kismet2324: talking about it with jonny
Kismet2324: i kept giving her this shut up look and she kept going. i wanted to strangle her
Steamroller342: the girl whose party i went to didn't want her to come
Steamroller342: but i didn't know..
Steamroller342: so in front of her i asked if gabby could come
Kismet2324: yeah i heard about that
Kismet2324: oic
Steamroller342: .. you know.. she needed to find somefriends at the church..
Steamroller342: so elicia says "sure"
Kismet2324: who's party was it?
Steamroller342: and then comes to me later in private and says that gabby cant come
Kismet2324: o..
Steamroller342: .. so me and kate decide to drop it and hope gabby forgts.
Steamroller342: welll .. she dosn't and ends up coming last night
Kismet2324: that sucks
Steamroller342: and then half way through.. she confronts me outside and says... "
Steamroller342: i found out that elicai didn't want me to come.. and why didn't you tell me... and i want to go home so i'm going to call my mother"
Steamroller342: and then i respond by telling her that i didn't want to hurt her feelings by telling her that elicia dosn't like her
Kismet2324: wow
Steamroller342: .. and get into the car to take her and all the rest of us home..
Kismet2324: it's bad when one person ruins it for everyone else
Steamroller342: .. and so she starts getting mad at me.. and i start talking to her in an agitated voice.. not yet mad.. mind you..
Kismet2324: of course
Steamroller342: and she says "don't yell at me!"
Steamroller342: and me being the complete smarty i am..
Steamroller342: respond by yelling "I'M NOT YELLING YET... THIS IS WHAT I SOUND LIKE WHEN IM YELLING!!!"
Kismet2324: lol
Kismet2324: that's great m@
Steamroller342: and so she gets out and pouts.. and kate's bf guy has to take her home
Kismet2324: wow... that sucks
Steamroller342: because she "dosn't want to ride with that jerk":
Steamroller342: and what's worse is that kate wants me to apologize to her!!!!
Steamroller342: and amanda thinks that i'm in the right with all this..
Steamroller342: and she's the only one who's impartial
Kismet2324: try not to let her get to u.. she's always.... what?!? apologize... maybe for yelling in the heat of the moment, but not for anything else
Steamroller342: .. i'm done with her crap..
Steamroller342: i don't know her anymore.. shes not coming over.. she's not in band..
Steamroller342: this is about as mad as i can get at one singular person..
Kismet2324: calm down matt... after a few weeks u won't have to see her again
Steamroller342: can i post this conversation on my journal?
Kismet2324: sure..

.. geez. so much to say..

severly pissed at gabby..

and also.. came to the party tonight at a friends house dressed as neo from the matrix.. it was fun.. but on the way there i went by the mall and say anne completely on incident.. and i was dressed as neo.. now imagine me being all in my leather hotpants.. and my severe crush happens upon me while going to see a movie with louie.. (.. you'd have to know him to understand).. oh well.. too much to say for one night .. mail me one for more info..

caio

-M@
matt_moeller_steamoller@yahoo.com