sorry i havn't updated in a while (heather).

i've been busy doing all sorts of stuff.

videos play, church, etc.

i'm soo excited about opening night, but at the same time, i'm horifficly terrified about it. (what if i missed a blocking cue? are the lights going to go good? what if the power goes out? what if no one comes ?)

i went to sleep at 1 this afternoon for a little nap, and woke up at 530.. this play is taking a lot out of me.

and my car.

lol.

went to manda's last night watched monty python.. laughed.

there's something to be said for english humor.

now i'm off to finish college stuff. and do my calc.

later homies..

and remember not to hate dawgs.
-M@ (mizz@)

sigh..
i think that i'm over that little outburst on wednesday. sorry everone.

i'm very tired still though. so i think that i'll make a video , do my blocking, and then go to bed..

goodnight all. i think i'm becoming my father.

-M@

goddamit. i think that this is the most fucking pissed off that i've been in years.

firstly.. we almost had someone else quit on us today. and the practice was missing a shitload of people.. not like 3 or 4.. but 7.. 7!!!!!!!!!!!!i mean that's 1/3 of the fucking cast. DAMMIT! SHOW UP IF YOU ARE IN THE FUCKING PLAY!!!!

and then i get home.. and my sister is fucking bothering me about going to church. and so we go..

it was okay .. i saw grace for the first time in about 2 months. if you remember correctly, i was her confidant. i've been calling her about once a week. but she never calls back. what could i do?

so she flirts with me through pracically the whole thing. While Cid (the teen pastor) is up there fucking moaning and groaning about how we should all be good witneses. rotfl.. that's great.. yea.. all the FUCKING POTHEADS AND SEX FEINDS THAT SHOWED UP THE FUCKING SERVICE NEED TO BE PREACHED TO ABOUT BEING A GOOD WITNESS!!!! and then. at the end he gives an altercall in typical baptist buggery.. WTF?!?!?!?!!?!

after this. grace's brother comes up and asks me about if i like grace or not? and i give him some dodgy answer like.. " well i don't know. i havn't seen her in 2 months, i just want to catch up ""

i didn't get the hint.

until her bf and her start to leave and smooch ..

WTF?? HE WASN'T EVEN SITTING WITH HER, OR ANYWHERE NEAR HER, I KNOW. I WAS RIGHT NEXT TO HER!!!!!!!

and to top it all off, i lost my bible with my notes in it. and my bookmarks.

and then on the way home. katie lectures me on how kim likes me so much. ( i'm going to her prom with her, its kinda a favor for kate, she dosn't look all that great)

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

why can't i ever pick someone who is good for me, likes me, is free, and isnt embarassing to take to a buffet line????? why????

i fucking swear, nice guys finish last, and at my rate i wont even finish the race, i'll be hospitalized by being crushed by some fat fucker.

first ann stops talking to me at school .. like out of the blue just up and decides that i don't fucking exist at all..

then grace fucks me over.

and now kim..


FUCK.

i'm soooo angry..
i hope that this is nothing like my life will turn out to be like... cuz this shit is shit.

i don't think that i get any angrier than this, but i certainly hope that i'm not this mad tommorrow.
-M@..

oh and for you non christians out there. i'm ashaimed of what i just wrote.. and i'm in no way representing christ with what i say in my journal. its just an outlet for me.

Untitled

ugh.. ugh..

i'm soooo incredibly stressed about this play, about college, about calc.. i don't think that i can handle it all without a nice stiff drink and a night on the town.. and this willl be tough to get.. seeing as how i'm underage, and have neve had more than a capful in my entire life...

i know that most of the cast reads this. so try not to take it to heart.

i'll talk later.. kate's badgering me
-M@

ugh.. dude.. i was outta town for soooooo long..
just got back on friday..

it was like.. a bad family reunion..

chicken, and collard greens..

who even knows what collard greens are anyways??

lol

well.. mom's home.. i gotta go and work..

lata
-M@